When I was still in campus, I went through an event I never thought I would ever recover from. My self-esteem was at an all-time low and at some point I had doubts about what I was really doing with my life.
I mean, I had worked extra hard in high school and had earned my spot to pursue the course I wanted without a lot of financial obligations. But then all of a sudden that future I was trying to build seemed oblique.
It took the intervention of one of the best people I have ever known to assure me that I was worth it and that it didn’t matter what anyone said about me. What mattered was how I saw myself.
Looking back today, I am glad that I listened to him because it is that experience that has shaped me into the person I am today. I have become tougher and I have learnt to believe in myself even when no one else does. I have also mastered the art of caring about things that have an effect on me and letting go of what doesn’t.
It is those lessons I learned during my darkest moment that have shaped me into who I am today. And that is why I found it best to share them with you.
Does this sound like you?
Do you constantly worry about what others say about you?
You want to be like so and so but no matter how hard you work, you can’t seem to take a step forward. You feel frustrated and then worry creeps in.
Do you get so caught up in what society, your friends or family think of you that you forget yourself?
What this does to you, is that it stops you from really living your life.
Because at the end of the day you are your own person, living your life and chasing your own dreams that what should matter most is the effort you are putting into that.
Nobody can tell you how to live your life just like you have no business telling another how to live theirs.
1. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind
Its human nature to want to be liked by everyone – to be appreciated and praised.
But often times we seek this kind of attention from the wrong people.
What I have noted in life is that once you impress someone you feel good and you will seek to impress another because you want to feel wanted and appreciated. And once you get that other person’s approval, you will go looking for some more.
But the question is; why bother seeking approval elsewhere, while there are people in your life who will continue to do so no matter what, achievement or not?
My point is, sometimes we tend to focus on people who don’t even matter and neglect those that do. These are the people you can count on and know that no matter want happens; they will always have your back.
2. It doesn’t matter if you are not where you want to be in life
How many of us can say that we have achieved what we want in life? Probably none. We are all working towards something and sometimes you will admit that you get carried away.
We live in a world where we are surrounded by people who seem to have it all. Some of them are your age while others are even younger, some recognized even globally and all you can think about is how you are not doing enough in life.
One thing I like to tell people is that, we all have our own timelines. You have your life just like I have mine and no matter how much time and effort I spend trying to get what you have, it will never work. In the end, all that will remain is me frustrated with my own shortcomings.
The idea is to stop comparing and chasing after what someone else has but work for what you want. Understand that not everyone achieves success at 20, 25 or even 30. All you need is a little patience and perspective of what it is you are working towards.
Quickly See This >>> Never Entrust Your Happiness On Anyone
3. What happened in the past is not what is happening now
Whether you care to admit it or not, we have all made mistakes, minor or major.
Maybe today you are living with all kinds of anger, frustration and pain when you think back at that one thing that brought you to your knees a while back but one thing I can tell you is that you will get past it.
I mean somehow you have managed to weather every storm that life has thrown at you and it’s the reason you are here today. And just like that, this too will pass.
You have faced worse and been in worse situations and it has shaped you to the person you are today.
So let go of all that pain and frustration and stop living in the past. Instead, live your life knowing very well that whatever gets you down today, you will face it just like you have managed to do all these years.
4. Happiness is a choice; you can either choose to be or not to be
There is one thing I have noticed in the world and it is the distorted view of what happiness is all about it.
Every day, we tend to be chasing some kind of purpose. We believe that in order to be happy we must do this and this.
May be you are waiting to be happy when that deal comes through or when you get that job. Maybe your happiness lies in finding the perfect partner to share your life with.
But what this kind of happiness does to you is that it prevents you from seeing the reality, instead you focus so much on chasing some idea of happiness that you actually forget how to live.
You can choose to be happy even when circumstances don’t seem ideal. You can choose to see something positive even when you are going through hell.
Because somehow, somewhere, when you think about it, someone is going through worse.
What it all comes down to is
Your life will not be perfect just because you wish it could be. That dream that you are trying to achieve will not happen in a day- hell, it may not even happen in years but as long as you keep your faith and keep working towards what you believe in, there is no reason why you can’t succeed. And above everything else, learn to be happy no matter where you are and stop comparing yourself with other people. Work towards your own goals and not what someone else has.